Everyting is wonderful!

Sorry it took so long to post this but Everything is good. Baby is safe and in the right place and has a heart beat. I hate my doctor, He is a big jerk, but I don't care. Because I have a safe and sweet baby still growing. He says the baby is a week smaller then I did and moved the due date out a week. So now December 7th 2011 Our little baby is set to come. But I am betting that then end of November or the first few days in December will be more like it. My water broke with Andrew on the due date I got not the week later that that doctor also said. So we shall see... When baby decides to come. I hope that baby waits until after thanksgiving to show up. I got to get my but in gear and get Christmas going. I am so not going to feel like doing that much in November or December. So I am hoping to have Everything done before that 1st of November. I am thinking about Halloween and hoping that Kevin and I can figure out by September and have it made before that last minute.  Not to mention I have tons of stuff to do around our home to get ready for the baby, and I want to use cloth diapers this time so I will have to get those also made. It feels like there is tons and tons of stuff to do before November. I know that I will get it all done. It will just take time.

Spotting,,,, And Praying for a miracle.

Oh God No. Not now. Please let this be nothing... I am having spotting and worried that we might be loosing this baby too. I really hope that I am wrong and am praying for a miracle. I was so happy when we found out about the baby and will be crushed if s/he is gone. Please hold on there baby... I so want to meet you in December. I already have you a wonderful gift, and a sweet big brother to take care of you. I now wish we had waited until 12 weeks to tell everyone, just because it will suck to have to explain to everyone that we lost the baby. I just want everything to work out and the baby to be healthy and happy in our arms in December. It took so long for us to get this baby and to think of loosing it just sucks. I don't want to wait another year if we do happen to get pregnant again. I just am sick. I am trying to not worry, but it is not easy... I just want to know. I want to know everything will be alright. Oh please, Oh Please, Oh Please, Oh Please....

Some days I wish...

Some days I wish I was a stay at home mom. There are days I feel like Andrew is set aside more then he should be because there is so much going on, and now we are getting a new baby and I worry how I will take care of my 2 children, and 7 daycare kids and help grandma, and keep my home in order and keep my head. I am sure once the baby is here I will have everything set up, but it is crazy to think of all these people depending on me everyday. Man I don't understand why kids want to grow up so fast... I wish I could be a kid again some days.

Our home is undergoing a major change, I am rearranging the front room and dinning room now. Next will be the master bedroom (have to make room for the bassinet, and changing table) Andrew's room needs a bit of work too, And I haven't even tried to get to the bathroom this weekend. I have tons of sewing and Knitting and crocheting, I want to do for the new baby, and myself, and Andrew too. Not to mention that I have all my Christmas stuff to get done before November. I know that this is tottaly normal and I am worrying over nothing really... There is still time. There is still time. There is still time. (Just keep repeting this to myself) I am not behind yet!

Midwife E-mailed me today :(

SO I got an Email back form the midwife today and lets face it I am a bit saddened by the news she has shared with me. First off I was really hoping to have the baby at home, but its just not going to be able to happen. $3900 is just not in our budget. I really wish that we had the money but I am going to have to stick with health insurance paying the way and have this baby at the hospital too. This time however I will be reading up on different things and better ways when it comes to delivery and postpartum. I think I would reather have the extra money to buy the new baby a few items.

Items I am thinking about buying for the baby;
Car seat      $150
Bassinet      $100
Breast Pump   $75-200
Pack in Play   $100-150

There will be other things that I think of as we get closer and after July when we can find out the sex of the baby.

On hold... with Kaiser waiting to find a OB/GYN

Wait wait wait wait So boring. I am sitting here listening to crapy music while I wait to transfer to the person who is gonna help me find an OB/GYN for this baby. I wanted to do a midwife, but not gonna happen. It will cost too much and since we are paying for the insurance we'll have to use it. But I guess its not all bad, I know what I am doing this time around and am not going to get pushed around. I can and know how to have a baby and am so much more relaxed even in the first few weeks, Not freaking out about all things I don't know how to do or if I should be doing. Taking my vitamins, drinking my water ( skipping the coffee) eating healthy (enjoying every moment, Even the sick ones.)

Talking to the lady right now. Monday we will set up the appointment. Sometime after 4/20/2011... between 8-10 weeks.